ABOUT THE BOOK

 

Josh reading at book event.

 

Forgetting chronicles the unexpected life circumstances which led author Josh Hickman to his three-plus year journey of solo caregiving for a mother with whom he had a deeply troubled, difficult relationship. Left alone with the responsibility of taking care of her as her dementia progressed, he shares his personal insights and struggles as he learned how to navigate the daunting process. This book is a highly relevant, timely and valuable resource for people currently dealing with this increasing dilemma, those who have lived through similar circumstances, or those who might be facing such a situation in the near future.

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Author Josh Hickman, Highland Park Public Library Author Presentation

An honest, non-fiction drama, Josh Hickman’s Forgetting invites readers inside his personal journey of growing up with a self-absorbed combative mother whose presence within the family dynamic, including his older brother and father, caused constant tension. Though she instilled a love of literature and photography there was always a sense of treading warily. In his late forties, following his father’s death, Hickman returned to Dallas from Los Angeles, where he was tasked with the solo responsibility of caring for his mother.

Reentering his mother’s volatile sphere, her worsening aggression and the challenges related to her cognitive decline, possibly Alzheimer’s disease, combined with the discovery of a suspicious, potentially manipulated new will excluding him and his brother complicated matters further. The addition of this to his own multiplying personal crisis, including a devastating and unexpected recent breakup, private struggles with alcoholism, and now having to move in with his mother, became completely overwhelming.

Author Josh Hickman signing a copy of Forgetting for guest at the Highland Park Library

Facing an undesirable and unsafe living space and shocking, fraudulent Adult Protective Services charges he was forced to move them to a safer apartment. As her caregiver, he struggled with isolation and despondency, finding solace in his dog Sammy, painting, writing, and music. Over the course of time, his mother’s mental and physical decline accelerated, yet her personality miraculously softened. Increasing financial strain eventually led to another move, and after a tragic fall, his frail mother passed away in hospice care.

Her death left him grappling with guilt and grief, but he eventually returned to his love of art, writing, music, and travel. Reflecting on how caregiving reshaped his view of her and navigating the future of his own life, he was inspired to share his story in hopes that it might help others.

“Forgetting is a heart-wrenching and honest account of a son’s commitment to solo caregiving for his mother as she succumbs to dementia. Often overlooked are the echoes of the complexity of family dynamics that can come to bear.”

—Dr. Drew Pinsky, Host, Ask Dr. Drew and Health Uncensored
 

  • KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THE BOOK

    1. Strategies for dealing with an antisocial/narcissistic parent or relative with dementia.
    2. Advice and support on dealing with severe and unexpected life changes and starting over in mid-life.
    3. Ideas for coping with the isolation and loneliness often inherent in solo caregiving.
    4. Aid in building an effective caregiver support network and how to survive without one.
    5. Testaments and assessments of the benefits and solace that can be found in pets, art, music, and writing/journaling can bring to the solo caregiving experience.
    6. Perspective on how past behavior and psychology can affect and damage our future prospects for family relationships and social connection.
    7. The power of reconciliation, perseverance, and resilience when dealing with difficult and antisocial relatives and overcoming damaged family relationships.
    8. The possibility and advantages of changing your perspective on and finding compassion for a difficult, antisocial parent or family member.
Josh W. Hickman, Author, Artist and Journalist